Keeping It Classy

What Planet Are You From?

I often wonder where creepy people come from.  What's their purpose?  Why do they exist? 

Last night, as I left the office after a long day I walked happily to my car praising myself for driving to work, yet again, instead of taking the Muni.  I passed through the parking lot gates trying to remember where I parked that morning.  I spotted my car quickly - score! - and had my car keys in hand.  I noticed a man on the other side of the lot walking toward me.  I thought this was odd since I had entered through the only entrance of the parking lot, but assumed that maybe he wasn't as lucky as I was about remembering where he had parted with his car that morning.

As I unlocked my car and tossed my stuff into my backseat, I saw the man walk past my car.  I was blessed with amazing peripheral vision.  I got into the driver's seat and looked back to make sure the man had kept walking when I noticed he was standing at my passenger door, staring at me.  Immediately locking the door, i turned on my car and threw it in reverse.  I had every intention of running this creep-o over.  Only problem was, my car was completely fogged up from the cold weather and I couldn't see a thing except for his dark silhouette.  And let's be real, unless you're driving a brand new BMW, your defroster never works fast enough.

At this point, I didn't care what or who I hit as long as I got the hell out of there.  As I exited the parking lot, thanking my lucky stars that nothing actually happened to me except my elevated heart rate, I wondered what that crazy man was after.  My money?  My car?  My life?  Little did he know that he'd be disappointed with all 3 of those options. 

So Proud

I typically run with a pretty classy group of friends.  We know how to be respectful towards others in public.  We know which fork to use for each course of the meal.  We know when we've had too much to drink.  Basically, my friends are the types of friends that you can be proud you have in your life you enjoy spending a lot of time with.  

So you can only imagine the highlights of our day spent at the Cal football game this year.  We started off with a few beers at my friend’s house which quickly escalated into an afternoon dance party (obviously!).  The dance party continued in the cab on the way to BART and in the BART station while waiting for the train – the patrons and local homeless man staring in utter shock.  Cracking beers and loudly chatting on Bart seemed like the next logical step.  Like I said, we know how to be respectful towards others in public.  

Once we arrive in Berkeley, we immediately headed to Henry’s Bar and get in the beer line.  One friend naturally drinks straight out of the pitcher while the rest of us sip (who’s kidding…chug) our beers.  Someone mentions that their friend is tailgating and has free beers so we hightail to what we thought was a nearby parking lot.  40 minutes later we find ourselves with less than one beer a piece and his friends on their way to the game.  Buzz kill.  Thankfully, some older alumni invited us over to help them finish off their kegs and food.  Half our group has no problem inhaling the food in minutes; picking through it with their hands and shoveling it into their mouths.  As I mentioned, we know which fork to use for each course of the meal.   

We finally arrive at the game just before halftime.  We root for Cal as we’re nearing frostbite and celebrate with some classic jumping up and down when they win the game.  Leaving the game, we realize that we went a whole 2^nd half without any alcohol and decide we must immediately fix that problem.  Back to Henry’s Bar!!  We stock up on pitchers of beer and within 30 minutes a fight breaks out and one of my friends ends up getting caught in the middle and pouring her beer on a guy’s head.  She’s now escorted out of the bar, so we decide to call it an evening and head back to BART.  The walk to BART is interesting.  We’ve somehow created a new style of walking which combines Hulk Hogan + Spiderman + Richard Simmons.  A block away from BART, a bar was calling our names so we stopped in for yet another round of drinks.  I mean, why not?  We obviously know when we’ve had too much to drink, right?  

When I got home that night (errr…early the next morning), I thought to myself how lucky I was to have such a great group of friends.  Then woke up in the morning and couldn’t remember how I got home.